Friday, August 1, 2008

Reasons why I love my nail specialist and other stories

  • He pretends to believe me when I tell him half baked lies about why my nails are in such bad shape. e.g "it's just that time of the month" when really the vanish had chipped badly and all I had to remove it with was an old rusty nail file.
  • He seems to enjoy the fact that I speak miserable Luganda and he speaks next to no English......... You should hear us communicate!
  • He gives the nicest foot rubs ever
  • He's cute
  • He's cheap and he gives me discounts (I think this should have come first)
  • He gives me practical tips on how to improve my nails, not like I listen or anything, it's just nice to be told
  • He makes my nails look beautiful and that in itself is a miracle.......

I guess this is the point when I start with the other stories.......... Just realised there are no other stories. You'll just have to wait til I come round to writing the sequel of that ka story I started. Meanwhile, has any one read Memnoch, the devil by Anne Rice? I think her and Dan Brown ought to have a special place in hell for all their blatant blasphemy. I mean, if I'm going to hell, I really wouldn't want to be placed with the lot of them. In the off chance that God decided to change his mind about how evil I am, He'd just see then and then fail to forgive me! That said, I think they're incredibly talented, her books are a must-read (start with interview with the vampire or watch the movie if you can't read it). Ok, that's about it.

P.S: For those of you who want to find out who my nail guy is, my lips are so sealed so you can choke on it!

17 comments:

tumwijuke said...

You have a 'nail specialist'? How very upper class and bourgeois.

;-)

The dare-devil said...

Well, the term specialist in this case was used rather loosely but what the heck?! I quite like the snobbish, pompous element that goes with it........

B2B said...

I also realised that there are no other stories
none at all...

unless...

wait, i have a
no i don't

kissyfur said...

What kind of advertising is that?? If he is soo great why cant we all use him, huh? anyway my nails suck! I havent been to a nail specialist as u put it since my sisters wedding 3 yrs ago.

Josh said...

@Kissyfur:"Use him"?! :D

Am not exactly religious but I figure,if people who are a lot saner that I am believe in God,then it must be a very respectable chap...
Dan Brown.hmm...Until recently i thought he had a few loose screws in this head...
Now that Rice lady reminds me of Bram Stoker,the guy behind Dracula.But her books just got joined the list of books my must read before i go to Heaven...well,it depends...

Josh said...

*He must be a very respectable chap...

buttercookie said...

That nail specialist guy must be mine as well. Is he called Ponsiano?

Josh said...

@Cheri: Lol!

The dare-devil said...

@ b2b:Lol
@ Kissyfur: Eeeh banange, 3 years? Kitalo!
@ Josh: Banange, get your mind out of the gutter already! Respecteble chap? Hmmmmm......
@ Buttercookie: Ponsi-ani? No idea who your talking about.... Doesn't sound like he's cute enough to be him though

buttercookie said...

Hah haha, u haven't met Ponsiano= We call him Ponny.

He's cute and portable. Trust

Josh said...

@Cheri: "Portable"? Lol...

antipop said...

i know this post by heart now.

Princess said...

LOL @ antipop.
DD, POST DAMNIT!!!

B2B said...

Antichild
you totally stole my words...

And yeah DareDevil
was that you on stage with Wyclef Jean who said your name was Ruth in a white dress??

The dare-devil said...

@ Cheri: Portable? Hmmmmm
@ antipop: You must give yourself away telling the world how big a fan of my work you are now ;P
@ B2B: Do you seriously think it was me? Just to ease your mind on that, I wudn't go around telling people I was called Ruth, I'd proly come up with something sleazy and questionable like Chastity and I sure as hell wudn't be wearing white, maybe red lace.....

B2B said...

Er DareDee, it's just that she was also as hott as you!

And lace, i er...
yes

many things to say, but not saying them correctly!

Latisha said...

Good words.