Saturday, August 21, 2010

Death and salvation

I am here, in a place I called home. The people are the same and yet everything is different.

So maybe there are plenty of new supermarkets and the banks are more than I can count on two hands. For me it doesn't matter cause all the goodness has been sucked away in development and progress. Everything I loved is dilapidated, squatting apologetically in the midst of all that's shiny and new... And the people? Yes they smile, showing their toothy grins, asking me how the old folks are. That is just a mask. Under the cover of darkness, they are the ones who pin me to the ground as I struggle helplessly, and try to tear off my jeans. Even in the day, there's  a strange darkness that lingers, the kind one couldn't recognize if they didn't know anything else. This is no longer a place to love and cherish. It screams that I have changed but it has, most of all. It's heartbreaking, these memories lost in revision.

Yesterday I thought that it would kill me, that the death of this beautiful thing would snuff out my joy... But in the air, I smelt something warm and familiar and it made me smile.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Plain realities

........and it can't be rushed - this desire to reach and be reached.
Endless meaningless conversations; that is all they are without patience....
Maybe, I didn't want to tell you that she told me something you said and it tore me to bits.
Maybe the confusion will always remain, awkward and permanent.
I know that I don't want to be on the sidelines.
Maybe this isn't meant to be