Truth

It's funny how sometimes we lose sight of ourselves, completely forgetting who we are, seemingly over burdened by duty, too busy running far far away in the opposite direction from where we ought to be headed.......... Well, that's a story for another day. Today, I just want to learn about healing and letting go, to know whether taking the risk to face your worst fear and having that fear confirmed still makes the venture worthwhile.........

The pain is great, overwhelming and I'm far too afraid to feel it. He says to let the pain just wash over you and soon the healing will come. I wish I could do that but it's not merely a ripple, this pain, it comes harshly, without apology like angry waves and I can not let myself be swept away. I have to stand and fight for all I'm worth. Alone. Silently summoning whatever is left of my strength..........

I finally faced that fear and trusted him completely, I wonder now if that was a curse in disguise. No, he didn't mean to hurt me because even against his better judgement, he loves me completely. No, he didn't mean to but he did. It cannot be helped, it can not be undone. All I have left is my solitude and my strength, waging war against this angry tide