Tuesday, August 4, 2009

After many failed attempts.....

Life is never as glamorous as we make it seem. So often we heighten every emotion we feel, give everything a poetic spin, make the blues bluer and and the pain grimmer. Life is okay, bearable, even good sometimes. Never extreme.

That's what I have to believe today; in this moment atleast. I think maybe if I hold onto this thought long enough, then this weight of deadness will get off of my chest because the hurt can't be as terrible as I think. Maybe the smiles around me will seem a tad less bright because nobody has any reason to smile that hard or that often. Maybe I'll feel like it hasn't been forever since we talked without fighting since there can't possibly be any reason we should fight that often.....

Even I can't convince myself. Cheating pain means stealing from joy and I can't accept that Tuesday afternoons aren't that beautiful with the breeze blowing in the trees or that life isn't shitty as hell on days like today.

I wanted to write a story so startlingly beautiful that I'd be in awe of myself, the kind that makes one forgive themselves for every day they had writers' block or doubted their artistic ability. Today, I guess, is not one of those days; after many failed attempts, I've still come up empty.


the emrys said...

this is certainly not deep

Tamzel said...

I agree with you on the fact that we tend to heighten every emotion we feel.

I enjoyed reading this post.

the emrys said...

oops, meant this is certainly not empty especially the part about tuesdays and shitty days like today, not that mine is

Sleek said...

The faces we have for everything, the lights,camera,action...so true. hope it gets better DD

Carsozy said...

you have a way with words so hang in there.

King said...

Sometimes empty is the best place to be.

Many times we are at most brilliant when all else fails, that's when true creativity bubbles to the surface.

Oh what am I saying...

Rhino said...

"Sometimes I feel like shit, sometimes I just wanna be normal for a bit" I feel you!

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